It sounded like an Autumn-y type thing to do, was relatively close (in Columbus), and it was a pleasant, fun day, but I’m still scratching my head about why we fall for this. Home and garden shows, gun shows, antiques shows…we pay to get in so we can shop. It’s crazy, but people flock to them, so I guess they’re on to something. Or we are just constantly stupid.

I did have one celebrity encounter at the fair: Cari Cucksey , of the HGTV show Cash and Cari. (Get it?) She had some cute things in her booth (expensive), and she was very friendly with all of the fans hanging around.  I fear that my celebrity meetings have hit the D or E list, and just a mere five months after shaking Jimmy Fallon’s sweaty hand!

My Hair and Cari

Here are a few of my purchases. Hey, I’m not made of stone—I want to do my part to stimulate the economy.

Cinnamon Baked/Dried Gourd Thingies

Something Cinnamon and Baked I Can EAT

I love this ornament. I'm always looking for unusual nutcracker items.

Can't pass up free Scrubbing Bubbles for the commode.

On the plus side, the Ohio Historical Society Museum was open and free to fair goers, so I checked that out, too. They have a decent collection and a really nice flag display. And a mammoth!

Ohio Historical Artifact

I flew in on Sunday, May 22, and met a friend for brunch at the Cloister Cafe in the East Village. Loved the Omelete Latino. Avocado!

Lovely stained glass window at the Cloister Cafe.

Here are a few photos of my celebrity encounters at BEA:

Julianne Moore from afar. Had to abandon her line as it was tooooo loooong....

John Lithgow gave a great talk about his book. Can't wait to read my free copy!

Jimmy Fallon was signing "Thank You Notes." His hand was a wee bit sweaty.

Jane Lynch was signing...a photo of herself. I didn't hear her talk as I was doing some business, so I'm not sure where her book was.

Flava Flav? Sure, why not?

I have a crush on Dave Barry. It's true.

Mindy Kaling, with what looks like a Hitler stache. Sorry!

Some shots without celebs:

I guess it doesn't hurt to advertise.

Awesome view out my hotel window.

I rounded out my trip by attending a performance of How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying. I totally enjoyed this show! I had never seen it before, so the story was fresh for me, especially since Mad Men seems to have made all things ’60s kind of cool again. The cast was excellent, and Daniel Radcliffe held his own. So, he’s not the best singer ever…he was fine and carried the show really well. Of course, he did look sort of ridiculous standing next to John Laroquette, but nothing’s perfect. It was everything I had hoped from a fun musical on a Thursday evening!

As if Danny needs the ladder to success!

Before taking off on Friday, I made my way back to Greenwich Village just to mosey around and get away from the crowds. It was actually pretty serene. Beat the lunch rush at John’s Pizzeria and grabbed a pie (can’t buy just a slice there). It was good, but I don’t get the hype.

Serene view out the window at John's.

The theater was very intimate and the perfect setting for this show. Was I as close as I was for the Arj Barker show at Zanies in Nashville in 2009 where I could see up his nostrils? No. This was probably better. I didn’t want to look up Joey Fatone’s nostrils. Good lord.

The lineup for our show was Illeana Douglas, Joey Fatone, Carson Kressley, Cheri Oteri, Eugene Pack, Jennifer Tilly, and Steve Trask. I had never heard of Eugene Pack (though he looked familiar…he created the show and apparently has created some basic cable reality shows that may be reviewed here sometime). I still don’t know who Steve Trask is, but the Kentucky Center blog said he is a lyricist/composer/or something.

The basic, yet genius, premise of the show is that celebrities write ridiculous autobiographies that should be read aloud in an ironic way. It was hilarious!

We were treated to Kressley reading Vanna White. Oteri gave us Mr. T. Fatone read Hasselhoff. Tilly read Ivana Trump. Pack interpreted Tiger Woods in a very dirty manner. I think my favorite was Douglas reading selected poems by Suzanne Sommers. Trask read the most bizarre love letter ever from Kenny Loggins to his lady love. There were a few celebrity mashups, like Cher (Kressley), George Hamilton (Pack), and Barbra Streisand (Douglas) sharing their thoughts on food. And, hilariously, Debbie Reynolds (Oteri), Elizabeth Taylor (Tilly), and Eddie Fisher (Pack) giving their takes on their love triangle. Oh, yes, and Burt Reynolds (Fatone) and Lonnie Anderson (Douglas? I can’t remember). The whole cast (and an audience member) read from Britney Spears’s diary of making Crossroads. Hee. It takes talent to make these people seem relevant.

NOTHING was ad libbed…it was all read as written, and boy was it written. Vanna waxing poetic on how tough it is to turn those letters and all of her zany mishaps. Did you know that once her belt broke? YES, it’s true. Hasselhoff passing out during one of his numbers in some Broadway show he was in, only to wake up to the scenery being changed around him. Suzanne Sommers clearly writing poetry while stoned out of her mind. Barbra randomly yapping about fruits and veggies. George Hamilton admitting to slipping into 7-11s to wolf down Snowballs. It was all so odd. And delicious.

It was well worth the hassle of getting there. I mean, who knew celebs were just ordinary people surrounded by a thick outer shell of oddness?

Since then, we’ve had Harry Potterthons (watched movies 1-6 in one weekend), replete with homemade butterbeer. And, I got to see my first big-screen HP movie with her on opening night for Deathly Hallows Part 1.

So, to round out our Year of Potter, we visited the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando during her Spring Break.

We did other stuff, too.

Our first stop once we hit Orlando was the ticket booth outside Universal’s Islands of Adventure. We picked up our park tickets and other goodies that came with our AAA Universal Vacation package. We ate a cheeseburger (and quesedilla) in paradise at Margaritaville, checked into our lovely Hampton Inn, then got ready for Medieval Times.

Review of Medieval Times: I am kind of over these types of horsemanship/eating with your hands extravaganzas. But, it was something new to my niece and me (the rest of our party had been there before), and it was entertaining.

The (rather messy) bill of fare:

Next time I'll snap a photo BEFORE I use the napkin.

The garlic bread was good. The soup and the rib were not. That potato was delish. The chicken was tender and tasty, but I just do not enjoy tearing it apart with my fingers. Ew. The “pastry” was an Arby’s-esque apple turnover, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (have you had Arby’s chocolate turnovers? If not, get thee to an Arby’s!) The Pepsi products were sucky Pepsi products. I don’t enjoy any drinks on ice in Florida…that Florida water is not a pleasant thing.

Anyway, the show included jousting, riding, tricks, and some hand-to-hand combat type stuff that went on far too long. The audience is divided into color-coded sections and must cheer on their corresponding knights. Our knight, the Black Knight, was the big champion of the evening, so that was pretty cool. Overall, it was a good show, but I don’t think I need to see it again. We had BOGO free tickets, so it wasn’t too bad.

Day 2 of our adventure was supposed to be our first day to enjoy early entry to Islands of  Adventure and our one-and-only day using express passes that a glitch on the Universal site allowed me to buy for the lowest price although they were listed for much more. Guess the joke was on me.

Instead, we awoke to severe thunderstorms and spent the morning huddled in the Hampton breakfast room keeping an eye on the TV. Conditions started to improve a little around 10:00, so we donned rain ponchos and headed over to Universal. The rain was a godsend! We quickly hoofed it to the back of Islands of Adventure and straight into the Wizarding World. I had a little lump in my throat standing at the entrance to Hogsmeade, looking at Hogwarts in the distance. It was pretty magical. And empty.

We walked right on the main attraction, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. This ride was awesome and intense. As my niece and I wandered away from our enchanted bench and into the gift shop, we were both a little shell shocked. Not because the ride was rough, but because we couldn’t believe we were there and had already done it!

We spent a glorious morning exploring the village and just hanging out at the Owl Post, watching the meager crowd. It was the perfect introduction to the area without the normal throngs of people. And, it pretty much stopped raining the second we stepped inside. Magic! We ate a leisurely lunch at the Three Broomsticks (avoid the shepherd’s pie like you would avoid Voldemort…worst amusement park food I’d ever eaten, and that’s saying A LOT) and sipped some frozen butterbeer (we liked it, but it wasn’t great—it kind of tasted like the stuff I made at home, which was just cream soda with some butterscotch syrup in it). 

Cauldron cakes, on the other hand, were perfect.

Hogwarts!

The rest of the afternoon we experienced the other attractions at IOA. Like, all of them. There were no lines to speak of, and if there were any waits, we had our express passes and went to the front of the line (I think we shaved 10 minutes off  the Hulk and accidentally got in the express line at Dragon Challenge, which had no line anyway). We loved Spiderman, Hulk, and Seuss Landing, and enjoyed everything else. Yes, even Poseidon’s Fury. Sure, it was bizarre and all over the place. Sure, you had to walk through that strange tunnel of water thingie. But, we liked it. We did skip the water rides. It was a little chilly for those.

The next day we were up around dawn-ish and ready to hit the early entry. It was a beautiful day. Holy moley, it was a zoo! We headed for HP World with the masses of people. This time we hit Ollivander’s first to see the wand “show.” One child is chosen from the 20 or so people allowed into each show, and the kid has an experience similar to when Harry’s wand chose him in the first movie. It was cute. We waited 20 minutes. I would not wait longer than that!

After another excellent ride on Forbidden Journey, a cauldron cake, and more people watching at the Owl Post, we were ready to get away from the swarms of people. The line to get in to HP World at this point (around 10:30) stretched…well, everywhere. Not sure if people were waiting for return tickets or to get in, but they looked miserable either way. We stopped at Seuss Landing to shop for Thing 1 and Thing 2 souvenirs (got the niece’s two dogs cute little Tees) and leisurely strolled on out of IOA for the day. I ran to the car to get rid of our purchases (getting there for early entry got us a pretty close spot in the garage), and we stopped at the little food court at City Walk for lunch. Can’t beat the cheapness of Moe’s! Way better than the Three Broomsticks….

The rest of the day was spent at Universal Studios, which was pretty empty. I really enjoyed this park. Way better than IOA. The atmosphere is just so cool. The longest we waited for anything was probably waiting out the next showing for Shrek, Terminator, and the Horror Makeup Show. Our favorite ride was the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit. We lucked out and got the front seat, which made that first hill so much more amazing. My soundtrack for the ride was Bad Girls by Donna Summer. Beep beep.

I liked all the little touches at Universal, like this:

Heh Heh

We had three-day passes, which were enough to see and do most things we wanted to do, all at a pretty slow pace (one person in our party was in a wheelchair, so we were taking it easy). We had one more day of early entry and made the most of it, getting another fabu ride on Forbidden Journey. After exiting the ride and doing our shopping in Filch’s Emporium, we opted to take the castle tour so we could linger in all the different areas and take as many photos as we wanted. If you go on the ride, you have to relinquish your belongings either to a locker or a nonrider, and, if the ride isn’t broken down, the line keeps moving, so you can’t really stop and enjoy all the details. So, it makes sense to take the castle tour. And, if it’s really crowded, you can take the tour to see all the cool castle stuff, then use the single riders line to skip the bulk of the wait. We didn’t need to do this because there wasn’t much a line each time we rode, but once it got busy, I could see it being an excellent strategy!

Hanging from the ceiling in the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom.

We wanted to ride the water rides today, so we brought a change of clothes. Best move ever! Jurassic Park got us a little damp, but Ripsaw Falls absolutely drenched us. Believe the warning signs…they’re not kidding. I was kind of confused by the Dudley Doright theming. Do kids have any idea who he is? Do they get the corny jokes? No matter. I’m sure they love getting soaked. I was glad to climb back into my dry duds before lunching at Thunder Falls, where we watched a bunch of kids get wetter than we had been by standing at the bottom of the Jurassic Park ride. Funny to watch, but wouldn’t want to be them. We never made it to the Popeye and Bluto ride. We were kind of chilled and couldn’t stand any more water.

We rounded out the day with another afternoon at Universal. Really, did they have to throw water down our backs at Twister? That was the one thing that cracked us up (and sometimes ticked us off): just about every attraction squirts you, spits on you, dumps water on you, sprays water at you, mists you…you get the picture. It sounds good for 98 degree days, but you know, it wasn’t that hot when we were there, so, yeah, it got a little annoying.

One thing we noticed on these crowdless days: parts of the queue were not closed off, so you had to walk for ever and ever to get to the rides. This totally discouraged my niece from a second ride on The Mummy. She couldn’t take the trek! Often, you’d walk in and it would be really dark. If you were just moseying along in a line, your eyes would have time to adjust. But, rushing in and power walking through the line sometimes felt like a blind walk through a maze. Still, given the choice of tripping through the Dragon Challenge queue and waiting an hour, I’ll go for the tripping every time!

We loved the Universal parks! It was great to take a break from Disney and see something new. These parks are mainly geared towards tweens, teens, and thrill seekers. While there were kids areas, there didn’t seem to be enough attractions to keep toddlers or scaredy cats busy for very long. Universal Studios had more shows and tamer attractions, but I still would hold off on these parks until the kiddos are ready for some thrills.

I would recommend buying a Universal vacation package for the early entry feature. I would have loved to stay at a Univeral onsite hotel and gotten the unlimited express pass perk, too, but using a partner hotel (Hampton Inn South of Universal) worked out great. Getting just that one-hour jump on the general public makes all the difference. When we picked up our tickets at Guest Services the first day we were in Orlando, a woman (not a girl, but a grown woman) was crying and asking for her money back because the lines were so long at IOA. She said, and I quote, “This was supposed to be a special day. But, it just sucks.” Avoid the suckage by planning ahead. Unfortunately, most activities in Orlando require about the same amount of research and planning as taking on a European tour. But, for me, half the fun’s in the planning.

The last stop of our Orlando trip was a day at SeaWorld. I’m not sure I can give this park a fair shake because I was pretty much parked out by the time we went. The shows were great, and of course, Manta was worth the price of admission. But, there was nothing that made me want to return. I would go back if I was with someone who had never been there before, but otherwise, it had a been-there, done-that feel to it. But hey, that’s just me. We did spend some quality time in the dolphin nursery area, where young dolphins kept popping up next to us and posing. We loved it!

Smile!

The Year of Potter continues next week when I see How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying in New York, starring HP himself, Daniel Radcliffe. Will also be checking out Book Expo America, so I’m sure I’ll have exciting things to report.

We stopped in Plains en route to Orlando (not a direct en route). Our first destination was lunch at Mom’s Kitchen, a bare bones cafeteria-style restaurant with excellent Southern cooking.

Every bite of this was delish. Not that I ate it all....

The Jimmy Carter National Historical Site consists of several locations throughout Plains, including the high school Carter attended, his campaign headquarters, and his boyhood home. The high school shows a film and holds many artifacts from the era, as well as Carter’s Nobel Peace Prize (was it a copy? not sure) and a museum depicting his life.

We didn’t check out the campaign headquarters but did shop on the main street and sample peanuts. Every store let us try some. Mostly they were deep fried. I’d never had deep fried peanuts, but they tasted pretty ordinarily peanut-y to me, so I’m not sure it helped to add the deep fried calories. One store sold a wide array of presidential memorabilia (notably campaign buttons, although we purchased a deck of Bush-Cheney 2005 inauguration cards, which were discounted to like $2). The proprietor was a strange gentleman who told a string of very corny jokes. Best strategy if you want to shop there…no eye contact!

The highlight of the Carter park is his boyhood home. It is wonderfully restored and offers a glimpse into 1930s Southern rural life. Oddly, the family had a tennis court, conveniently situated between the house and garden. A word of warning: I was wearing flip flops and was attacked by ANTS!!! I felt a pain on my foot and looked down to see black ants crawling all over it. I still have two scabs on my little toe (TMI, I know, but it’s my lasting memory of Carter’s home).

We also got some peanut samples here. The rangers made boiled peanuts over an open fire. It sounded soooo good, but man, those things are gross. Perhaps eating them while they are hot is advised. I didn’t break into mine until they had cooled off and sat in the car for an hour or two. Sort of tasted like a salty, cold baked potato, but not as good.

Plains is an adorable little town, and of course we are always happy to see a president’s home. But, this wasn’t my favorite one.  Although, it was kind of exciting to think we could have bumped into the Carters. With most presidential sites, if I bump into the former occupants of the homes, it will be in a supernatural way, so this was better.

We did quickly buzz by the Carter compound, which is not open to the public, and snap a few photos from far away. Did we see Jimmy gardening by his pond? You make the call.

I first visited the Bryant Park Christmas Market. It wasn’t dark yet, so I didn’t get the full effect of the tree. The booths/shops/whatever you want to call them were fun but nothing special. I picked up an ornament for my nephew, but I could have probably found the same thing at a mall kiosk. Still, it was pretty.

Christmas in the Big City

Just as I was finishing up at the market, a friend texted me to meet for an early dinner (more like linner for me) on 34th and…7th? The Tick Tock Diner. Had some yummy breakfast items (my favorite diner food) and caught up.  She had to get back to work, and I had Christmas Spirit to drink in.

Since I was right at Macy’s, a trip to the eighth floor and Santaland was in store. Up, up, up the ancient wooden escalators to Santa’s lair. It was totally cute and made me wish I had small children in tow because I felt slightly skeevy when I got to the front of the line and had to tell the elf that I was a party of one. I did a quick drive-by and wave to the man himself, then went outside to look at the windows.

In Front of Macy's

"Yes, Virginia" Window at Macy's

I made my way to 5th Avenue and checked out windows and lights and stores, made a detour to Rockefeller Center, back to 5th, and ended at FAO. (Before walking all the way back to my hotel at 39th between 8th and 9th.)

Y'all know what this is.

Random Wall of Lights at Trump Tower

Waiting for the Big Show on the Big Piano to Begin

When I told friends that I paid $46 to hear an author read from his works, they thought I was crazy. But honestly, it was better than most professional plays I’ve seen. He’s that good.

The night? October 10, 2010. The Reds were playing. The Bengals were playing. The Aronoff even called to remind me that I might need to leave extra early to find a parking spot. There was an actual festive atmosphere downtown (as opposed to the creepy, desertedness I often feel when going to the Aronoff) that I think carried over to our little soiree with Sedaris.

I guess because so many of us arrived early (no problems at all with parking), David came out before the reading (I suppose it’s called a reading and not a performance) to sign books, chat, share peanuts, and charm us all. I told him he is adorable. He agreed. He also slipped a bookmark sporting a nekkid picture of his brother into my book. The naughty bits were covered, but, hey, what was up with that? Too funny!

David setting out snacks for the crowd.

The rest of the night consisted of David reading from his works, reading from his journal (including entries from the book tour), a Q&A session, and jokes.  I didn’t want it to end.

High: I got a free ticket to see this Kathleen Turner vehicle, and for the price, I cannot complain. Ms. Turner is no longer as stunning as she was in her younger days (was anyone more adorable than her circa Romancing the Stone?), but she still has the acting chops. It took a while to get past her voice (too Marge Schott for my taste), but once I got into the story, it didn’t bother me.

The plot was rather depressing, the ending not really satisfying, and the nudity seemed unnecessary to me. Yes, it definitely presented a certain level of shock value (the old people sitting around me at the Sunday matinee I attended audibly gasped), but it did not add to the story.

Overall, it’s was a great performance by Turner, even if the play made me feel somewhat glum, and it’s always cool to have international stars spend some time in Cincy.

The Second City Does Cincinnati: Pride and Porkopolis: Ahahahahahaha! They totally get us! From East Side-West Side rivalries, to arguing for Pete Rose to get in to the Hall of Fame, to Jerry Springer paying a hooker with a check, someone did some homework on what Cincinnatians hold near and dear. While a few jokes fell completely flat, and the improv session at the end was not funny at all (I think our audience didn’t come up with very good suggestions), this was typical Second City. I’ve been to their shows in Chicago a few times and saw the touring company in Covington a few years ago, so I did recognize a few rehashed bits. But, for someone who’s never experienced a Second City show, this is a must. That they skewer our city only makes it better!

A Christmas Story: Yes, on the verge of the Christmas season, when one can see this film on a 24-hour loop at some point, my family chose to drive to Louisville to see it live on stage. Totally worth the trip!

Four of us went, three adults and one kid. As a Kentucky resident who had never bought tickets for the Actors Theater, my brother was able to score two tickets for $10 each. We bought one at regular price, and the kid got in for half price. So, it was really affordable for us to go.

Before entering the theater, I was curious how they would work in all the crucial sets. Well, they did it quite cleverly, and the transitions were humorous. The main set of Ralphie’s house, replete with two stories, had an open area in front that served as outside and school. Then, for the pivotal visit to Santa, the house itself was quickly made over, and there was the infamous slide that whisked kids away from Santa. Awesome.

The play was just different enough from the movie that you had to pay attention because what you thought might happen next could change. The child actors were decent, but the adults were outstanding, most notably Justin R. G. Holcomb as The Old Man. The man had a lot of physical comedy and pulled it off flawlessly.

We were sorry when we looked at the thing which tells time and realized the play was almost over.

I attended a few Fall festivals.

On October 2, we headed to Middletown for Middfest International. This year, the focus was on Botswana. I briefly lived in Botswana in the early ’90s, so I was excited to see the culture of the country highlighted. There was an adorable little lady who demonstrated traditional basket making. I had a complete flashback to my time in Botswana as she exhibited the typical softspoken and extremely polite mannerisms I experienced there. She brought back special memories.

Part of the festival included characters from Alexander McCall Smith’s No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series of novels, which are set in Botswana, and detailed recreations of sets from the HBO show based on the books.

One of the cool buildings at Middfest 2010.

We left Middfest in the early afternoon when it started raining and ducked into IKEA for some shopping. Unfortunately, it got chilly, but we still carried on with our next day’s activity: The Ohio Renaissance Festival!

This trip was a birthday gift to my dad. I won tickets to the festival last year and took some friends, and he later told me he was really disappointed I didn’t take him because he had always wanted to go. Who knew? As we were driving up 71, we kept saying that if the temp didn’t reach 53F before we got there, it was off. It hit 53F about five miles out, so it was all on.

What can be said about a Ren Fest? All the old standbys were there: the sword guys, the Mud Show, jousting, being disgusted by people eating turkey legs, feeling superior to those in ridiculous costumes. My dad enjoyed it (although it really was bone chilling out—we walked around draped in blankets, which helped), but he said he had hoped to see more freaky folk out and about. Just when I thought his wish wouldn’t come true, we saw this guy, and Dad’s birthday was truly a happy one.

Is that a funnel on your head, or....?

Rounding out our autumn festival visits was a stop at the Circleville Pumpkin Show on October 23. As you may have guessed from the name, this is a celebration of all things pumpkin, from food to decorations to, well, actual insanely large pumpkins. We had the opportunity to taste all the sweets made with pumpkin (the donuts were our favorites) and a few savories (um, that would be a no on the pumpkin pizza), all while taking in the friendly small town vibe. It was the perfect way to soak in the waning days of autumn and get indigestion.

Big Ol' Pumpkins

On our way, we took a little side trip to admire the Cumberland Gap and stopped off at Andrew Johnson’s homestead in Greeneville, TN (we always seem to sniff out the presidents anywhere we go). We also paid our respects to Andy’s grave. We’ve already decided to return to Cumberland Gap when the leaves change and explore the area more. And, I can now proudly cross all the Tennessee presidents off my list!

I love this rock formation near the Cumberland Gap pinnacle overlook.

We arrived in Pigeon Forge in the late afternoon, checked in to the hotel, bought some show tickets, and took a ride to Gatlinburg for some dinner. We wanted to thoroughly enjoy the traffic-less roads before the crowds showed up for the weekend (it was Thursday). I hadn’t been to this area in a while and was pretty shocked to see how much Pigeon Forge had grown. I still think Gatlinburg has more ambiance, but PF is getting better. We grabbed some dinner at Calhoun’s, which we all enjoyed. Although a chain restaurant, it’s not a chain we have in our area, so it was new to us. And, a good steak is a good steak no matter where you get it! We walked around a little, then headed back to the hotel because we were tired from our 4:00 am wake-up call.

After-dinner sky in Gatlinburg.

Friday we went to Dollywood. Wow, what a smart move on our parts! The place was practically empty.

Dollywood Review: I was the only one who was up for thrill rides, so I joined about twenty others for the rope drop. The employee who did the dropping said Thunderhead was down for about fifteen minutes, so I passed it by and rode Mystery Mine twice. I was the only rider both times. I had never been to Dollywood, so I was really impressed with the caliber of coasters. I thought it was just going to be a quaint park with crafts and shows, so I was even more pleasantly surprised with Thunderhead, which was an intense little coaster. I went on Mystery Mine again (this time there were two other people riding with me). I loved the theming of this ride and the more-than-90-degree drops, as well as the hang-time you get upside down. I wandered over to the Tennessee Tornado, which was a decent looping coaster, then of course to Blazing Fury. Fire in the hole! This I remember from the days when Dollywood was Silver Dollar City.

I stumbled upon the Wings of America “show.” It was really just showing off some birds of prey and then asking for donations. Still worth a look to see a bald eagle up close (and not through a fence like the bird sanctuary next to the Wings of America Theater). After checking out a few shops in Craftsman’s Valley, the rest of my party called and said they were ready to meet for lunch (they had seen the Kingdom Heirs show and really enjoyed it). Had a decent lunch at the Backstage Restaurant (we were all craving the A/C as it was in the 90s).

After lunch, we caught the “Dreamland Drive-In” show, which was everyone’s favorite. I’m used to the more amateurish shows at my home park, Kings Island, so this was a wonderful step up. Everything from the sets and props to the actors were professional, although, not to be mean, the lead guy is not who I would have chosen for the part. His voice was fine, but he just didn’t look it. Next we saw “Sha-Kon-O-Hey!” It was different than I thought it would be, but was a good show and really captured the various groups of people who have lived in the Smokies over the centuries. Cool acrobatics. Somewhere in there we looked at Dolly’s bus and hit the Imagination Cinema. We shopped for a few hours, and just as we were leaving, a storm passed through, so perfect timing again. Really loved Dollywood and will be returning!

That evening we went to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat at the Miracle Theater. It was sad to see the place so empty on a Friday night because this really was a fabulous show. None of us had seen this musical before, which made it all the better. The actor who played Joseph was especially good. Would totally recommend it (if it continues to run there).

Saturday morning brought a break in the heat wave and some ziplining (again, I was the only one up for a thrill ride today).

Wahoo Ziplines Review: I really liked the location of Wahoo, as opposed to the more generic looking zips on the side of the road. We got there a little early, so we rode up the hill to check out the timeshares (outsides only…no presentation for us!) and came across the starting point for the first line. What a gorgeous view.

That first step is a doozy!

This was my first ziplining experience, and it won’t be my last. It was a little pricey, but you get six lines, all a little different, and beautiful scenery. The first line must be where they weed out the wusses so they don’t have to drag the chickens around the whole time, because it was pretty high and long. It’s an amazing feeling whizzing over treetops and fields like you’re flying. We got to hang upside down and zip on one line, go tandem on another, and finished off racing. The guides sort of seemed like they were fooling around sometimes, but I never felt unsafe. Another experience I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend. There’s really nothing scary about it once you get past the thoughts of plummeting to your death. The sensation is milder than most roller coasters. We were lucky that there were no hesitaters in our group of about fifteen, so it went pretty quickly and smoothly.

The afternoon was so pretty that we braved the crowds and made the drive to Cade’s Cove. Ahhh, yes, now the Labor Day weekenders were out in full force, and we were bumper-to-bumper all the way around. We brought a little picnic that we ate under a tree at the visitors center. We didn’t even try to get out and hike to or visit the cabins or other buildings. It was just too much of a hassle. We didn’t have that much time, anyway, because we had to get back for the Dixie Stampede.

Dixie Stampede Review: Hmmm. Not sure what to say about this dinner show. It’s one of those things I’m glad I experienced, but I probably wouldn’t go again. What a contrast to our previous night’s show! This place was packed. Looked like a sellout crowd to me. It was disappointing that drinks and snacks at the preshow were not included in the price of the evening. It was almost…Disneyesque. In fact, I found it odd that Dollywood offered no discounts and was about as expensive as a day at a Disney park and that Dixie Stampede was so expensive, too. Boooo on Dolly!

We bought our tickets when we got to town on Thursday, and pickings were slim. We were way on the side on the top row, which really wasn’t too bad. I know that eating with your fingers is part of the novelty, but it really was unpleasant to me. The food was good, though, but I was pissed that the waiter kept leaving the jug of Sierra Mist in front of me. I’m short, and this actually blocked my view. When I asked him to move it, he replied, “I don’t have anyplace else to put it.” Did it affect his tip? Mayhaps.

The show itself was quite a spectacle. I love animals, and especially horses, so it was great, albeit corny at times. The highlight for me was the lady who stands on the backs of two side-by-side horses and rides. Cool!  We were on the North side and were kicking the South’s butt the whole night, but the South somehow pulled out the win. I call shenanigans!

Sunday morning we made the trek to Clingmans Dome, first stopping for breakfast at the famous Apple Barn. Loved the apple muffins. The traffic in the Park was surprisingly not too bad. We must have left early enough to beat the bulk of the crowds because there were plenty of parking spots at the Dome when we got there (not so much by the time we left). It was a perfect, clear day with spectacular views.

On a clear day you can see...mountains!

We drove around for a while, thought about going to Cherokee, but went back to Pigeon Forge for lunch at the Mellow Mushroom before hitting the road for home. Holy traffic! The Parkway was crazy, but it was the only time that we encountered really, really bad traffic. Once you discover the back roads, the drive time is cut way down.

We had a blast and enjoyed the last, fleeting days of summer!